untitled
today i had my NAFA'S 5 items.
shiqi refused to cheat for me for sit-ups.
3 Cs
2 Ds
*
im in a Story-Mood today & my brain cant wait to share it!! ok so here it goes...
a century ago, sally & felly went to the market to buy some vegetables because they were thinking of cooking chicken soup. they had decided to add peas to the chicken so that they could savor the pea taste & the after-taste of the peas in the chicken but they realised their peas were finished so they went to the market at Jurong to buy some more cans of peas. when they reached there, they saw a crowd at the bus stop. they were cussing & screaming. some of the people had spikes on their heads & others had blood on their clothes.
curious, sally & felly decided to sqeezee through the crowd & find out what caught their attention so much that they had actually been standing there for 1200 hours without moving. when they managed to get into the center they saw this blind man eating rotten rats & flies. he was cooking maggots from the decomposing rats & he was laughing to himself. whenever he stood up to do a dance the crowd would follow him. sally & felly thought that it was very ridiculous so they went off to the market instead.
upon reaching the market there was this stall made up of celery & tomatoes. the stall-keeper was a gay because he was wearing a micro-mini skirt with a tank top. he had painted his nails tomato-red & his hair was long & plaited like a china woman. sally went up & screamed. the gay stall-keeper went up & gave up a slap. he then started throwing celeries at her & sally & felly quickly picked up the celeries & ran away. that was how they got free celeries from the gay stall-keeper.
then they walked on & saw the Fish-Stall. the fishmonger was a woman with curly hair. she was listening to Heavy Metal & Techno. she was shaking her head violently when suddenly felly threw a mackerel at her face. she looked at felly with her firece fishy look & started sprouting nonsense. she went like !@#$%^&*()#$%^&*(. sally thought it was hilarious & started laughing. the Heavy Metal & Techno Fishmonger then suddenly stood up & threw her radio at sally. sally managed to avoid it & the radio fell to the ground. the impact caused the radio to break open & what was inside the Heavy Metal & Techno Fishmonger's radio shocked sally & felly. they realised that the radio was actually made up of intestines & stomachs & hearts & what-not from fishes. sally spotted an eyeball of a octopus & started laughing again. that made the Heavy Metal & Techno Fishmonger really furious & she started chasing after sally & felly. luckily they ran fast & they finally reached the Pea Stall.
the pea stall uncle gave them 1000 cans of peas as there was a promotion - "buy 1 can get 999 cans free". sally & felly were delighted. it was the happiest day of their life.
the end :)
*
man this is so fun i have decided to go into a Story-Mood again! :) my brain is abit cranky-pump-it-ness now you see :)
so here it goes...
benny was a 34 year old man. nothing was going well for him. he went bankrupt at the age of 10 because his parents could not handle their business well. benny thought maybe he would experience a turning point in life at 16 after secondary school when he decided studying wasnt his cup of tea & went to start his own business.
how foolish, his mother exclaimed when benny annnouced it to her. but benny was A Stubborn Old Bastard so he started his own business, selling Pirated VCDs. the variety was huge. from porn to romance, there was no movie benny did not have in the collection. his goods were normally shipped from singapore's best friend, Malaysia.
they came normally at 3 to 5am & it was a timing benny hated but he was the boss, the employee & the slave. so he had to wake up, depending on his 12-year-old alarm clock which his mother bought for his birthday. benny didnt realise that his mother was cursing for him to die early because he was naive back then. when the ship comes, benny would be at the jetty carrying a huge canvas bag to store the many VCDs his trusty friend had secretly recorded with a Sony Camcorder in the cinemas & editing&burning using his personal computer. the covers of the movie were usually designed by the same friend too. he had learnt photoshop in his poly years but because the lecturer discovered that he had used his photoshop skills to design porn he was made to drop out of school.
benny sold VCDs till the age of 20. he had been lucky but on his 20th birthday, one of his friends betrayed him & told the police. his friend did it because he was angry with benny for not agreeing to give him one porn VCD for free as it was his birthday that day.
benny was jailed for several months & was caned several times too. his parents had passed away by then & now, benny, an orphan, 34 years old, carrying with him only seconday school education, decided to make a living by...
selling porn again :)
shiqi refused to cheat for me for sit-ups.
3 Cs
2 Ds
*
im in a Story-Mood today & my brain cant wait to share it!! ok so here it goes...
a century ago, sally & felly went to the market to buy some vegetables because they were thinking of cooking chicken soup. they had decided to add peas to the chicken so that they could savor the pea taste & the after-taste of the peas in the chicken but they realised their peas were finished so they went to the market at Jurong to buy some more cans of peas. when they reached there, they saw a crowd at the bus stop. they were cussing & screaming. some of the people had spikes on their heads & others had blood on their clothes.
curious, sally & felly decided to sqeezee through the crowd & find out what caught their attention so much that they had actually been standing there for 1200 hours without moving. when they managed to get into the center they saw this blind man eating rotten rats & flies. he was cooking maggots from the decomposing rats & he was laughing to himself. whenever he stood up to do a dance the crowd would follow him. sally & felly thought that it was very ridiculous so they went off to the market instead.
upon reaching the market there was this stall made up of celery & tomatoes. the stall-keeper was a gay because he was wearing a micro-mini skirt with a tank top. he had painted his nails tomato-red & his hair was long & plaited like a china woman. sally went up & screamed. the gay stall-keeper went up & gave up a slap. he then started throwing celeries at her & sally & felly quickly picked up the celeries & ran away. that was how they got free celeries from the gay stall-keeper.
then they walked on & saw the Fish-Stall. the fishmonger was a woman with curly hair. she was listening to Heavy Metal & Techno. she was shaking her head violently when suddenly felly threw a mackerel at her face. she looked at felly with her firece fishy look & started sprouting nonsense. she went like !@#$%^&*()#$%^&*(. sally thought it was hilarious & started laughing. the Heavy Metal & Techno Fishmonger then suddenly stood up & threw her radio at sally. sally managed to avoid it & the radio fell to the ground. the impact caused the radio to break open & what was inside the Heavy Metal & Techno Fishmonger's radio shocked sally & felly. they realised that the radio was actually made up of intestines & stomachs & hearts & what-not from fishes. sally spotted an eyeball of a octopus & started laughing again. that made the Heavy Metal & Techno Fishmonger really furious & she started chasing after sally & felly. luckily they ran fast & they finally reached the Pea Stall.
the pea stall uncle gave them 1000 cans of peas as there was a promotion - "buy 1 can get 999 cans free". sally & felly were delighted. it was the happiest day of their life.
the end :)
*
man this is so fun i have decided to go into a Story-Mood again! :) my brain is abit cranky-pump-it-ness now you see :)
so here it goes...
benny was a 34 year old man. nothing was going well for him. he went bankrupt at the age of 10 because his parents could not handle their business well. benny thought maybe he would experience a turning point in life at 16 after secondary school when he decided studying wasnt his cup of tea & went to start his own business.
how foolish, his mother exclaimed when benny annnouced it to her. but benny was A Stubborn Old Bastard so he started his own business, selling Pirated VCDs. the variety was huge. from porn to romance, there was no movie benny did not have in the collection. his goods were normally shipped from singapore's best friend, Malaysia.
they came normally at 3 to 5am & it was a timing benny hated but he was the boss, the employee & the slave. so he had to wake up, depending on his 12-year-old alarm clock which his mother bought for his birthday. benny didnt realise that his mother was cursing for him to die early because he was naive back then. when the ship comes, benny would be at the jetty carrying a huge canvas bag to store the many VCDs his trusty friend had secretly recorded with a Sony Camcorder in the cinemas & editing&burning using his personal computer. the covers of the movie were usually designed by the same friend too. he had learnt photoshop in his poly years but because the lecturer discovered that he had used his photoshop skills to design porn he was made to drop out of school.
benny sold VCDs till the age of 20. he had been lucky but on his 20th birthday, one of his friends betrayed him & told the police. his friend did it because he was angry with benny for not agreeing to give him one porn VCD for free as it was his birthday that day.
benny was jailed for several months & was caned several times too. his parents had passed away by then & now, benny, an orphan, 34 years old, carrying with him only seconday school education, decided to make a living by...
selling porn again :)
posted by she-man at 6:27 PM
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